Friday, April 2, 2010

OH SNAP, Ixo's got rhymes!

Come pull up a seat and an ale,
And I'll weave you a short rhyming tale,
I've been left with the keys,
While Larísa's on skis,
Let's all hope I can dodge a LOLFAIL?

She told me to watch out for spam,
But she didn't say "NO GUEST POSTS" (dammmnnn!),
So forgive me bar patrons,
And Larísa, our matron,
I'm the first to admit, I'm a ham.


So what have I been doing in WoW?
Why, I'm riding the Honor Grind Cow!
My game time (recently),
Has been all PvP,
And I'm having a blast... ummm... Ka-Pow?

I used to roll eyes at those ding-dongs,
"PVP TAEKS MOAR SKILL!" are their themesongs,
But I have to admit,
That each comp needs new wit,
And the prep time doesn't take quite as long.

Log in, invite Vessen, and queue,
So far it's been all Two Vee Two,
The queue times are fast,
And each match is a blast,
Even when we lose points, no QQ.

Nobody complains of repairs,
Or runs for the door (or the stairs),
During a wipe,
We just break down the fight,
And adjust to new strats from our chairs.

My UI has ne'er been so clean!
No spare buttons or crap on my screen!
I need to see all the action,
Much to my satisfaction,
Only two moles to whack!? Grid looks LEAN!

Used to hate getting trained as the priest,
But with so much resil I'm a beast!
I can tank all the damage,
"Ves, commence pew pew spammage!"
And our shiny new ranks have increased!

Last night I turned down Lich attempts,
And I'm absent from YE OLDE GUILD VENTS,
4 hours at a time?
It's too hard to align!
Plus the raid gear is trash, no resilience!

So I apologize to my fellow crusaders,
I've crossed over to the dark side (just like VADERZ!),
I've become what I hated,
My Bloodlust is now Sated,
A PvP douche; no time for the raiders. :(

In my defense, I've a 19 month man,
And my wife just got back from Japan,
I just can't commit,
To an all evening sit,
40 minutes, 10 matches? That's the plan!

My limerick rhyming grows old,
And my story thus far has been told,
I'll watch out for spam,
just like Jean Claude Van Damme(!),
Till Larísa returns from the cold.


One last bit before outward I duck,
And I hope you'll all wish me good luck,
Game design interview!
38 Studios' crew!
Help design Copernicus? OH FUUUUU*****

I fly Cali to Boston on Monday,
I hope Tuesday will turn out a fun day,
I'm nervous as hell,
But it's all just as well,
They can see I'm sincere, so that's okay..?

Maybe this time next week, new employment?
Apartment search drama deployment?
We'll see how it goes,
Crossing fingers and toes,
Brand new paid MMO-based enjoyment?

As I bow out this blog posting gimmick,
If you comment, it MUST be a limerick,
If it's hard to be clever,
Make the last line whatever, helps if you get stuck and can't uhhhh...

find ... a word...

that rhymes with Limerick...


: /


Klepsacovic said...

Sometimes I wish I'd thought of this first
Without struggling for this line of verse
This got all cocked up
So I will just give up
And damn this poetry with every curse

LifeDeathSoul said...

WOW! 38 Studios huh? working with Todd mcfarlane and R.A salvatore! It will be a dream come true! Best of luck for your interview! :D

Chewy said...

There was a young lady in pink
Who one day decided to think
That her friends awful rhymes
Were committing no crimes
But they're driving us all to strong drink

Cap'n John said...

Todd McFarlane and R.A. Salvatore are both with 38 Studios? Damn! Those are some mighty big names you'll be able to have as references...some time in the future :)

Best of luck with the new gig!

Great rhymes btw ;)

HP said...

I totally read this to the Fresh Prince of Bel Air beat!

TheScribe said...


Were walking proud and we’re walking small,
We’re seeing the world from 3 foot tall.
Cause we’re gnomes
And it sure is good to be a gnome!

We’re huggable and cute to see
But we keep saying we fierce as can be
Cause we’re gnomes
And someday we goanna make it back home!

We dance with style and rhythm too
And when were happy we bounce around you
Cause we’re gnomes
And someday we’re goanna make it back home!

"I one for all the gnomes out there!*hug* our day will come my people!! :)

Larísa said...

Indeed I'm taking a week
to relax in the real life Stormpeak (s)
The key is no booty
- I'm leaving my duty
in the hands of a trustworthy geek.

Take care of this place while I'm gone
Let the buzz and the laughter go on
Extinguish the spam
Don't believe any scam
and keep the trolls away from the lawn!

I loved your rhyme post attack!
Now I'm off for some serious slack
Good luck on your meeting!
You should be hired in a beating
I'm hoping for good news once I'm back!

khaelie said...

good luck on your new interview,
i can't wait to hear how you do,
show them what you've got
a quitter you're not
they'd be crazy not to take you!

wish you the best!

Anonymous said...

I'm sitting here reading this blog,
On my iPhone amidst stinking fog,
Where am I you think,
Hint: I'm quite near my sink,
And I just dropped a titanic log.

Fear said...

Finally, you have come to the darkside. Welcome to PvP, Young Jedi. aka (noob) ;)

Interesting poem too, but you didn't say anything about mocking corpses with emotes or sitting on their heads after death before they get to the GY.

I wasn't sure if you are only doing arena, but seems like you are doing 2v2's and some BG's there. Good luck.

Svenn said...

Ixo cooked up some plans from his bed
To give Blizzard a way out of the red
His ideas they did hear
Still threw him out on his ear
So he went to 38 studios instead :)

Hatch said...

I sure hope Ixo gets the hire
Of unemployment he's starting to tire
Best far and away
He might move to M. A.
Where in person we may conspire

Tyberiuss said...

What does "Oh Snap" mean?
I see so many people using the expression now.
How did it get started?
It seems like mostly girls say it. said...

All I wanted to do was to clap
But Ixo forced me into this scrap
So I got to rhyme
with so little time
I'll exchange my clap for this crap.

Ahhh screw it... good luck Ixo...

My fingers are crossed big time!
At least Larisas away from the slime
skiing mountains must be fun
hope she spends less time on her bum
and her time isn't spoiled in the climb.

Damn how did that turn into a (almost) rhyme?

Apple said...

When I read this first, I admit
That at first I just had to sit
It was a trap
I thought it was rap
But gigglefits I did commit.

Ixobelle said...

I'm back from Boston, jet lagged and worn out.
My brain resembles deluxe fillet-of-trout
I'll know in a week
if my skills were at peak
Currently, though, I'm racked with self doubt.

Nervous and twitching, some questions were fumbled
I bibbled and babbled, I fimbled and fumbled,
An 8 hour day,
My mind they did flay,
But as of this moment, not all hope has crumbled.

I figure some guys were just trying to pry,
Undo my composure, to see if I'd die,
But for each one of those,
Five more were cool bros,
AND I LIVE! But the day was a trial, I won't lie.

it's too early in the morning for this, and the coffee is done brewing ;) I'll keep everyone in the loop

Marz said...

Well done on getting through
a very tough interview.
Good luck on the result,
I'm sure we'll exult
when we hear that they've hired you!

Larísa said...

Did you hear someone knocking on the door?
There are snowy steps on the floor!
Yes, your innkeeper is here
serving blogposts and beer
if there's still something left in the store

Enough of rhymes! A thousand thanks to Ixo for keeping an eye at the inn! I really really hope that interview payed off. And if not... well there will be others. I'm certain about that.
Now back to business as usual... BRB