Friday, August 15, 2008

Discovered: Black Temple

I wish I’d been quick enough to take a screenshot of this yellow sentence shining in my face. It was one of the big epic moments of my time in Azeroth after all. But I missed it.

Ill make it up with a little picture of my romantic date with Supremus (he literary chased me around the place, so much did he love me. ). This is the proof that I tell you the truth: the other day Larísa entered Black Temple for the first time in her lifetime.

Who could ever have thought that would happen? Not me. Not the people who saw me corpse running in Westfall one and a half year ago, desperately trying to figure out how a squishy should deal with those mean Defias people without pulling three at a time and getting instantly killed every single time. A year ago my dream was to be able to clear Karazhan at least once before the expansion. Something I deep inside doubted would happen. And here I am.

It’s been a fantastic journey, an adventure, which is still going on. For the most of the other people in the raid I attended it was farming content and they sighed a bit at the ridiculous amount of trash mobs at the courtyard of Supremus. I on the other hand was in heaven, with a big smile on my face during the whole raid. I was doing the one thing in the world I love doing most.

A new exiting instance to get lost in! New bosses to learn how to master (three of them this night)! And I even got loot, woot! Ring of Ancient Knowledge. Not a bad one for a mage and it will be just awesome when I respec back to fire.

How come that I suddenly find myself in this spot? Has my guild started to make some very rapid progress? To be honest – no. I’ve actually switched guild.

I’m really not the guild jumping kind of person, so it was with a sad heart and very reluctantly that I did it. There are some awesome people there and I’ll miss them a lot, even though I hope we’ll keep in touch, I’m still on the server after all.

The challenge
There are several reasons for my decision. One was that I followed a friend who wanted a change. But it was also very much a choice of my own. Most of all I think the problem was that we were unable to recruit and that people already in the guild stopped to play – due to real life reasons, vacations, upcoming expansion, apathy, whatever. It's not an unusual situation - many, many guilds that want to keep raiding until the expansion have a pretty rough time these days.

I’ve also got a lot of support and input from the blogging community when I made up my mind. It isn’t something I’ve discussed, but I’ve been lurking around, reading about others who’ve been in similar situations. They've described how they've felt sort of stuck, not challenging themselves the way they’d like to, and what they've done about it.

Especially two posts by Lassirra at The Hunter’s Mark, Casual by Circumstance and More casual/hardcore musings made me think. Among other things Lassirra wrote:

Stop trying to convince yourself, for whatever reason, that things will change. That things will “get better”. You need to decide which you want more: a bunch of buddies in-game to chat with, or a guild that will fulfill your desire to progress.

Loronar of 35 yards out also wrote a post (inspired by Lassirra) how he pushed himself to aim a bit higher. I think this sentence of his is right on the spot:

“If we don’t get out of our comfort zone, we never get to experience what is out there.”

The difference
I’ve definitely got out of my comfort zone now, joining a small (but hopefully growing) raiding guild. It’s doesn’t openly define itself as “hardcore” and the required attendance isn’t more than two nights a week, which is exactly how much my real life allows me to raid. But it definitely isn’t casual.

It’s a guild where there’s no question that you’ve looked up on tactics, that you show up on time, ready to pull the very minute the raid is supposed to start. It’s a guild where the TS is pretty much silent during raids since people are focusing on what they’re supposed to do. It’s a guild where WWS reports are taken from every raid and analysed in detail. It’s in short very different from the casual environment I’ve been in until now.

Of course it’s a bit frightening when you’re not used to it. Every single encounter is new to me and the pace is very high (although some complain that it’s too slow – currently we’re raiding in a raid alliance which probably makes things a bit slower since there’s quite a rotation on players). I really have to keep focus every single second to keep up.

What if I fail?
What’s most scaring is the fact that I’m on trial. It’s very possible that I’ll fail, that I’m just not skilled enough playwise to pass and be accepted. And what will happen then? It really wouldn’t look nice in my next guild application: reason for leaving your former guild? “I sucked and they didn’t want me”.

It is a risk but I face it. I want to challenge myself, I want to aim a bit higher and see what I’m capable of. If I’ll fail it will be an epic failure. But I’ll learn something and I’ll hopefully recover in time, after some therapeutic ranting in this blog.

I discovered Black Temple the other night. It really happened.

I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t been willing to put myself under pressure. Even if I’ll fail it has been worth it.

To be continued….

7 comments:

GrimPagan said...

New experiences are always fun, even if they often is marked with several wipes before sucess, so I would support your notion to continue to see new places, even if they involves a considerable repair bill at the end of the day.

Then again, death have always been a part of the game, at least when I played with you. My cables were always at the ready and I fear that had it been possible, they would have been worn out long time ago on my many and sometimes futile attempts to retusiate you. Sometimes I would wonder if you had developed some addiction to the electiral jolts that I was constantly infusing you with, but none the less, it was never a real instance for me, unless I experienced a mob would past by, promtly followed up by a squeak behind me and a heartfelt sorry typed in group chat shortly after.

I will always remember you as being one of those who felt that the wisp of the elves as one of the most tempting racial features around.

Still, although I suspect you may have developed some resentment towards me for all those feign deaths I pulled after and before your untimely demises, I and my trusty goblin cables always enjoyed visiting new places with you. ;)

Zupa said...

Yay for new experiences, new instances, and new raids!

I am sure your new guild will be happy to have you, and I don't doubt that you will make a valuable addition to their raid.

Keep us posted on your progression!

Loronar said...

Aha. Your last section just entered the realm of my raid fright post, which you have read of course.

Best of luck in your new venture. =)

Larísa said...

@Grimpagans, I always knew there was something strange about the mysterios sudden aggro spikes I got. It was your cleaver plan to make sure you could do those little experiments on the gnome, in the hope that you would see me fried by your cables... You kept it a secret for a long time but the truth will always come out.

And yeah I do have a death wish I guess. A raiding night in a guild like this can sometimes consist of 26 wipes on a new boss. No glory. Just plain work and repairbills.
And that's ok with me, but it is like a disease, it really is.

@Loronar - yes, that post is really relevant, I should have mentioned it, it just splipped my mind. I thought it was very, very good when I read it and I took it to my heart.

Einz said...

Congratulations!

"Supremus" sounds like the name of a Transformer. This one didn't turn into a car or anything, did it?

Mae said...

That's great!! Also, I must say, from one Gnome to another, I am quite jealous of your ring!! It's only dropped once for our guild and though it went to a fellow Gnome, I was a little sad not to see it upon my finger! Someday, that ring will be mine!!

Larísa said...

@einz: nope... no cars around. Just a stupid stupid big guy walking around doing some vulcanoes in the ground. Could have. Could have been bugged I guess. The mechanisms didn't work properly. No wonder he got pissed off.

@mae: My precious..... I'm rediculously happy about it and it's amazing I got it. Though there's really good badge gear around (and God knows I've bought about all there is), it isn't the same as a drop. Drops comes with memories you know. And this one I'll never ever forget.